Story: "[No Title]" (22 Pages)

Credits: Bob Rozakis (plot, script, colors); Stephen DeStefano (pencils); Karl Kesel (inks); John Costanza (letters); Brian Augustyn (edits)

Feature Characters: Coordinator (behind the scenes), Diamondette, Hotshot, Microwavebelle; Mister Muscle (last as Brother Bicep in issue #2), Private Eyes, Stretch, Voice-Over

Supporting Characters: Suzy-Q, Fred, Ruthie, Naomi, Dwight (all three next in issue #5); Lightning Eyes (Terry Carbone, first appearance; a speed-reader; next in issue #5), Zeep the Living Sponge; Marie the Psychic Turtle (first appearance; a Hotline Night Crew member), Melanie Boulder; Hotline Operators

Villains: Snafu (last in Batman Family #19), Boss Smiley (first post-Crisis appearance; see Comment), Ralph Bartoli (behind the scenes), Eric F. Schuster (behind the scenes; next in issue #5), fake Martians (first appearance; two swindlers)

Guest Appearance: Man-Bat (in flashback to Batman Family #18)

Other Characters: Alberto Rosario (first appearance; a talk show host; next in issue #6), Mrs. Culligan (last in issue #1), Mrs. Grimes-Burlington, Maximilian Grimes-Burlington, Truffles (a cat; first appearance of all three), Larry Dunne (first appearance; a reporter), a paparazzi photographer; a female TV reporter (last in issue #2), Edward Mulrooney (a kid fallen in a well), Red Mulrooney, Marla Mulrooney (Edward's parents; first appearance of all three), fire fighters

Comment: Boss Smiley first appeared in Prez #1, a corporate leader with a smiley for a head. This seems to be the same character, but is probably put in here as an in-joke. (He also has a "Watchmen"-stain on his face.)

Synopsis:

Microwavebelle brings her kids to work today. Coordinator gives her desk duty and she gets the assignment to show a new staff member – Lightning Eyes – around. She gets a bit disappointed to hear that he is a speed reader and not a superhero, though.
Private Eyes and Voice-Over reveal the plot behind Mrs. Culligan's disappearance. The "Martians" who kidnapped her are two female swindlers in disguise, trying to extort money from the old lady. On the Alberto Rosario talk show, Diamondette gets the assignment to open Pandora's Box.
Stretch, tired and grumpy after having to go after yet another missing pet, gets a lost kid up from a well without even leaving office.
The supervillain Snafu, master of sense distortion, attacks a bank but is defeated by the entire Hotline crew.
Mister Muscle gets a telephone call from Ralph Bartoli, who wants to settle their disagreement man to man. Waiting for Bartoli on a dark street, Muscle almost gets hit from behind with a wrench. Angered, our hero takes the wrench and starts running after the assailant...

Feature: "[No Title]" (2 Pages)

Comment: An article on coloring by DC president Jeanette Kahn.